Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
