I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
