so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
