is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
