WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
