Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
