Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
