clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
