I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
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In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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