i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
