WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize