I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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