I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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