I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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