she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
