this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
