Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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