When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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