think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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