She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
