you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
