the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
