and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
