Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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