doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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