Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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