Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
