You're completely useless in the revolution.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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