look no pants
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
