Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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