whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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