So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
