i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
well you can't waste a boner
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
