You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
