so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
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He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
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Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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