you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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