who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
