Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
