You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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