Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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