Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
