Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
PANTIES FOUND
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