You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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