In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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