glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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