I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Someone stole a lamp last night.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
