that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
