I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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