Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
