The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
