I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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