didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
