How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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