I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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