is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
