But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
