Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize