There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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