I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
