we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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